Sorry, I see that I have been doing this all wrong. Don’t say I don’t learn. I have now read every other food blog and I see what I should be doing. Lets start again.
I made a salad.
First I took an iceberg lettuce. I broke it up, washing the fragments, carefully removing slugs and returning them to the wild. (Tip – don’t use soap.)
I sliced some carrots with my knife. It hurt them more than it hurt me.
I cut up some capsicums.
I sliced some lebanese cucumbers.
I mixed them together. (Technical term – tossed.)
I threw in some coloured cocktail onions (mmm, food dye), just for a change.
I made my own dressing with lemon and vinegar and the blood of a third world child*. (*No I didn’t but I don’t have any of the exotic herbs everyone else refers to and I felt left out.)
I opened a tin of sliced beetroot and served it separately.
I took lots of pictures of my shitty salad but they did not turn out well. However, that would not stop me adding them if I knew how.
I drank half a bottle of vodka later and vomited everywhere*. That is the picture I really wanted to add. (*No I didn’t. I have never drunk vodka again since a fateful night with a very large Russian when I was young and hadn’t learned I was not invincible. I learned otherwise two hours later.)
Bugger, I didn’t use macaroni. Everybody else uses macaroni.
Yummo, it was nearly as good as germ sausages, and it tasted just like chicken. (Must check microbes – see “Aboot”.)
Isn’t the internet wonderful?
********
“your writing isn’t nearly as “creative” as you think it is”
is that better?
Coming soon – spaghetti from a tin – ON TOAST!!
If somebody tells ya “ur writing isnt creative” just tell them “ur reading isnt creative enough.” LOL haha
I loved reading your blog and I loved the humor you added. I would have loved to see the picture of your end result salad 😛 😛 😛
thank you kindly. it was my own fault, I commented on a blog by a person with absolutely no sense of humour, and she went for me.
The greatest asset any of us has is a good sense of humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves. Your blog is great – as is your writing. Don’t let one person’s opinion get you down. It’s just one person. Keep up the great work!
so kind of you to take the time to say that, many thanks
haha, nice!
thank ye
[…] fear, I have the recipe for an excellent and nutritious salad here. And for dessert, given them American chocolate. It tastes so bad they’ll think it is a […]
[…] Until then, at least we have salad. […]