Things that do not taste like chicken

Corn powder

Most tinea treatments

Eggs (who would have thought it?)

Rat candy


The Coca Cola

Roast lamb (if you have cooked it properly, it should taste like lamb and mint and onion and rosemary and caramelisation and potato and carrot and pumpkin and garlic and salt and pepper and oil, most definitely not chicken)

Genetically Modified Animals (well, the good ones don’t)

Germ sausages (sometimes – work in progress)

Good bread


Marital Artists (not to be confused with Martial Artists)


Coffee enema


Scientists, I am ready for your peer review:

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