NO NO NO.  I am not suggesting that you eat blind people.  This is not that sort of place.  I am not that sort of person, and neither is the writer.  That would be worse than eating a dolphin.  No, it just might be that you have tasted a blind person.  It might be that you were really really quiet, and that you were able to get very close to a blind person without their noticing.*  And once you were that close, and before you had to breathe again, it might be that you leaned in, and quickly licked them.  And if you did that, you may have thought “hey, that blind person tastes just like chicken”.  I’m just asking.

Yes, you are what you eat.  But you are not what you just lick.  That’s why vegans can lick meat, so long as they don’t swallow.  Generally speaking, licking a blind person will not make you a blind person.  However, under no circumstances should you eat a blind person.  Not even in the flashiest restaurant.

*It has been established through scientific experimentation^ that the other senses of blind people are no more acute than those of sighted persons.  This is something that blind people like to believe, and of course, they are unable to see the evidence that proves otherwise.

^Its ok, they weren’t my friends.#

# See “Aboot”, and any other reliable sources on mixed saliva experimentation.

  1. […] it is ok to lick the blind.  But not a window blind.  Ironic?  No, just […]

Scientists, I am ready for your peer review:

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