skin, skin, skin

its a very useful thing

if we didn’t have skin

what would we use

to hold our guts in?

It is so very wrong to eat a dolphin.  They are a delightful animal and are quite rightly a favourite subject for airbrushers of panel vans and creators of new age art.  They bring a sense of wonder, especially if seen in the wild, at speed or at play.  They are very beautiful, particularly because of the sleekness of their skin.  It is this feature which makes it completely understandable that one would cull a few from time to time, to take advantage of that skin, either ornamentally for clothing such as modish disco pants, recreationally to make your own dolphin suit,or utilitarianally, for example to create a swish carry bag.

Having justifiably culled your dolphin, would it not be a great shame to waste the meat?  Yes, one could feed it to pets, but it is a dangerous thing to give a domestic dog or budgerigar a taste for dolphin.  The thought of feral hordes haunting the seaside, ready to leap into the ocean and decimate a passing pod, all because you had no discipline and could not resist treating Fido or Budgie Boy, is terrifying indeed.  No, you have a moral obligation to eat dolphin flesh.  Invite your friends over, lightly roast the meat, and serve with a chilled Australian chardonnay or an appropriate Belgian beer.  And use the bones for a unique wind chime, to go with your dolphin dream catcher.

  1. Reblogged this on I AM YOUR MATE JOE CHIP and commented:

    It is indeed so very wrong to eat a dolphin, or to covet its skin – LEAVE THEM ALONE HIPPY

  2. “recreationally to make your own dolphin suit” – hunh. that is not something i had previously considered, but now I think i may never get this idea out of my brain.

Scientists, I am ready for your peer review:

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